The Mask Of Religion

Before I was born my family was involved with the Christian Faith. Specifically the Church Of Christ.

There are pictures of my mother and father holding me up infront of a church group in either Tennessee or Alabama after I was born. My father went to school at Abilene Christian University in Abilene, TX and earned a Masters in Divinity. After he graduated he took a position as a Preacher at the Church of Christ in MARQUETTE MICHIGAN. It was located across the street from the Marquette Senior High School.

We moved in 1994 from Abilene, TX to Marquette during the winter time. I believe it was directly after Christmas. On the trip we stopped at my Grandparents house where I was born in Idabel Oklahoma and spent Christmas there then traveled up to live in a parsonage “house owned by the church” on McClellan Street.

I remember within the week of us moving in to the house We were visited by some kids around our age that were relatives of the man who hired my father who was managing the Church. His name was Ernie Young. I remembered sitting in the church building with Ernie in a pew as he spoke to me about how he worked in Intelligence during the Vietnam Conflict. He explained about tortures involving pulling off fingernails and burning the raw areas with matches. I am unsure why this conversation stayed with me but I remember it to this day so vividly.

I would go to church every Sunday morning, evening, and on Wednesdays in the evening as well. I found myself deep in the book of Revelation “the prophecy about the end” consistently as my dad would be preaching infront of the congregation of around 30-40 people.

I was personally not super interested about the meat of the Bible as I was about the beginning and the end. The book of Genesis and Revelation.

In Sunday school Ernie’s wife was my teacher. We would sing songs and learn about stories in the Bible. I was a bit of a trouble maker and clown so I would be often kicked out of the room and would have to sit in a room alone that was off to the side of the main entrance to the downstairs of the building sometimes being watched by Ernie. I would tend to get scolded by my father about my misbehavior.

Every year we would have a bible competition called the Bible Bowl. All of the kids would line up and be asked random questions about stories, names, etc. factual information about what we had learned through the year. I remember facing against a family of girls who were very intent on learning the Bible and would actually read and study it not only during church hours.

The odd thing is, I would win every year. My prize was a Bible that I would toss to the side and never actually open.

Being born into religion and the beliefs of my family I whole heartedly believed everything that I was told. Which in my opinion was an excellent foundation to who I am today.

I do believe that the foundation and teachings of the Bible create respectable people. I understood and respected the 10 commandments.

At the age of 13 I decided that I was ready to be baptised being that I was told that it was the only way to be saved.

When I was baptized I remember being highly emotional and had cried during the ceremony.

At home during our family meals we would sit together at the table and pray before we ate. Thanking God for our food and our wonderful life we had to live.

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Being a preachers kid I had a lot to live up to, and our family was also looked at as being “good Christians”.

I remember times during my childhood where my father had become very angry when I would refuse to do my homework. One time he flipped me off of the chair I was sitting in and tackled me on the ground. I had hurt my hand and jammed my finger in the process. I ran into my bedroom at the end of the hall and hid underneath my bunkbed. My father insisted that I came out and would receive a spanking with a belt. I was crying and screaming and scared. He counted up every second that I was underneath the bed which would be the amount of spankings I would receive. I didn’t move for quite a while and the number increased and increased 30, 40, 50… Eventually I was dragged from underneath the bed and given my punishment being hit with the belt with frustration and intent of pain and punishment. Being that this was in the mid-late 1990’s this was a normal punishment for kids and not really seen as anything legitimately negative. Even when we were living in Texas the principal of the school had a paddle designed for spanking kids for punishment but had to call the parents for permission beforehand.

At times I would remember being spanked and my brother and sister would be standing watching crying while this was going on.

My father had a passion for music, he had played the trumpet and had even played in college. He formed a Christian band with some of his friends that was eventually named CTW “Created To Worship” which involved instruments. The Church Of Christ was an acapella group and believed that playing instruments was evil. That being so, eventually when I was in 7th grade he was fired from his position at the Church. We moved out of the parsonage in Marquette and ended up at the abandoned Ki Sawyer Air Force base about 30 minutes south of Marquette near the city of Gwinn.

My Dad had been in the Army National Guard as an Officer in the 107th Engineer Battalion based out of Ishpeming Michigan. He was the Battalion Chaplain. When 9-11 happened I was going to school at Graveraet Middle School in Marquette. After moving to Ki Sawyer “Base” he was deployed to Iraq.

This left my mother with 3 kids alone which started a very stressful time for her and us. Being that at this time she was un-medicated and is bipolar. I would endure random explosions of emotion and anger from her. Usually it was directed towards me since I was a bit of a rebel and the oldest.

I had remotes, eating utensils, and other objects thrown at me out of anger and frustration as well as being physically hit in the face and body on multiple occasions. I remember a time where she had hit me and chased me around the house until I had locked myself inside of the bathroom downstairs. She even tried to get into the bathroom where I had barricaded myself through the window outside. I remember times of extreme fear knowing that she was going to come after me. I was even once pinned down on the stairwell being choked out pushed down by the neck. I saw my mothers beet red face glaring into my eyes as her spit flew into my face as she told me that I belonged in the trash.

I remember coming home from school, my mother had told me to look at a magazine on the kitchen table to pick out some snow boots. I looked at them and saw the pricing and said “Mom, these are expensive!” she immediately snapped and started to scream at me.

I would find myself in many moments through the time my father was away that I would just stare at her standing as she was screaming at me at the top of her lungs. I would disassociate and it would be like she was yelling at a wall.

I contribute this to my ability to handle anything that anyone put infront of me in the military. In regards to the psychological breakdown that is supposed to happen during basic training. In August 2007 I enlisted in the Army National Guard and went to basic training shortly after in late September in which I was mixed in with Guard and Active duty recruits. When I was in basic training I was not phased by the drill sergeants. I was even asked by some of my peers how I could handle it all with ease. I didn't understand why at the time. I just knew it was nothing to me. “I was no bitch”.

I was with a girl named Ruby at the time when I went through basic training at Fort Leonard Wood. When I returned I was placed in a unit that was a mix of a couple of units in or near the Keewenaw. I was technically in the Baraga unit but we were combined with the unit in Calumet. “1431st Engineer Company (SAPPER)”.

Ruby and I decided to get married before the upcoming deployment leaving late November of 2008. We were very young, I was 20 years old at the time. We had gone to church together consistently and I was a virgin. I had deep faith in god and was very religious. My wife and I even had taught a Sunday school class for younger kids at the church.

I was deployed with the unit to Eastern Afghanistan, our mission was to clear Improvised Explosive Devices from routes and to conduct biometric and counter-IED missions. I found myself primarily working inside of the Tactical Operations Center although I did find myself on missions and was blown up by an IED in October 2009. I remember after that event I had called my wife, I stayed up late because of the 7.5 hour time difference and just wanted to hear her voice. When she answered she told me she was on the other line with her friend and wanted to get off of the phone.

I found myself setting up multiple times to Skype with her in which I was stood up on many of the dates. She emailed me and said that she felt numb towards me.

Eventually I had come home in November 2009 to the states and actually home in Michigan in December.

I had returned to the Church “Lake Superior Christian Church” that my family had been attending since my father had been fired from being a preacher. I felt extremely distant from everyone. I did not feel any comfort anymore by the closeness of my religious group. I began to spiral down into a pit of despair and would drink alone for hours playing call of duty drinking directly out of liquor bottles or drinking cases of beer.

Eventually my wife decided that was enough, I also didn’t know at the time that she was involved with another man.

I began working at a place called teaching Family Homes in which I worked with kids up to the age of 18 that were mostly wards of the state or were placed there because their families could not handle to take care of all of their needs. Since I did a good job with my work there I was quickly promoted to assist in the management of a house that had all girls that were sexual abuse and neglect victims. I loved this job and I loved working with my girls. I felt that I was able to at least help others.

One night I was called by my wife, she had just came back from a trip with her family for a couple of days. she said that she wouldn’t be there when I got home and she wanted a divorce.

I further spiraled, I eventually was pushed out of the house that I had purchased on Woodridge street in Marquette, MI and moved into a house that had a bunch of the guys that I had gone to church with on the corner 4th and Michigan. I slept on a futon mattress that was on the bottom of a bunk bed that was setup in the middle of a corridor between 2 of the guys rooms.

While I was there I had a lot of drinking events and I would see girls come in and out of my roommates rooms. I which eventually I would follow suit in my corridor and took good use of that futon mattress.

My mother had supported me once with a couple of cheap tortillas, a bag of cheese, and diced chicken from GFS that she got on sale. I made rice, mixed it all up together and put garlic in it. I ate this for weeks.

Eventually I had spiraled to the point that my roommates hated me. I then transferred to active duty in the 18x (Special Forces) Program and left Marquette.

From my massive spiral and new wild Army life I lead a life of a lot of spontaneous activities until I got out of the Army in early 2017.

Eventually I had gained employment working for a Pest Control company in Raleigh, NC. This company was owned by a wealthy family that was initially funded by the father. I worked up from being a technician to the service manager until they had sold in December of 2018. This family was Mormon, I since found the trend of Mormons being large into business and are very much connected in a vast network.

Being that I was now able to sit back and recognize and look at these networks of religion not only being Mormon.. But even christian. I found that churches are not only to worship “God” but to be used as a network almost identical to a group that I had attended while working with the Pest Control company called Business Networking International “BNI”.

I was taught very young that mega churches are evil and tell lies and only want money. I would be shown videos and watch small clips on the TV with my mother of Benny Hinn. She mocked him and said he was a lier and will go to hell.

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After years of working as a manager and doing some operational work with the Pest Companys in Raleigh, NC; Nashville, TN and Charlotte, NC. I found that these religious groups were big money making machines. These religious people had some serious problems with wanting GIRLS. Going on “business trips” including underground sex work. Eventually to include my wife which was paid for sex. I will go more in-depth with this part of the story soon in my next story called “The Ruda Virus”

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After I had learned about the infidelity at hand I left my home in Charlotte, NC to seek healing and nature to further understand myself and everything around me.

Upon returning back to Marquette, MI I found this vast “Christian” network was quite established and now had targeted my family in pursuit of their own gain.

I believe there is some sort of agreement to punish me for my “wrong doings”. I never had any type of faith in my mother to ever assist anyone but herself or her religious friend network. My mind has exploded from the consistent push by this group in which is very powerful in the area.

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My mother on a couple of occasions has even randomly spoken about people dying in the woods on hikes or on trails which I found random and off-putting. I even spoke with old church members for assistance with fixing my vehicle and other things but I was thrown to the side like a bag of trash.

I remember being taught that in the Bible the only one able to judge anyone was God. But the only judgement I’ve seen was from man/woman within the church.

I’ve learned since I had been gone there had been massive breaks within the church groups and multiple splits of congregation members. I visited Lake Superior Christian Church to appease my mother and I found that they are at about 5% strength of membership that they had before I had left in 2011.

My mother even had expressed her frustration with a previous pastor and said that he was put in his place… I presume by the power of the members of the church in the community.

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In 2011 before I left I had my second tattoo done on my inner left arm that is a Skull Nun. This was a personal statement of my hatred for organized religion.

If you look back in history, many wars and bloodshed was done in the name of GOD. But was it? I believe it was done in the name of man with the mask of God for power.

If you look how even governments have formed religious groups such as Polish Catholics, Roman Catholics, Russian Orthodox etc… They were created to have a specific structure for the people within their countries to create a specific culture for control.

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The leader of a christian group that housed college students at NMU called His house even committed adultery and got one of my friends pregnant. He had a wife and kids and threw it all away. How does a leader of the church do something like that?

What about the Catholic Church with molesting and raping young children?

Why is it all about sex? Because of human biology. The biology of animals are to reproduce. We are all wired that way. (some exceptions)

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When I would randomly return in a covert fashion to Marquette while I was in the army I also took notice to all of what was going on within the city and within this religious network. I believe that evil lurks within religious communities. Not all religious people are evil, they just want to feel better about everything that they have experienced in their lives and wish to live as good people and to move forward with happiness.

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It is important to remember that there are MANY wolves in sheep’s clothing. The weak tend to be in a church and the wolves exploit that to the fullest extent. They tend to be within the management.

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To be a good person, you don’t need to have the backing of a church. But to live by good values. I personally prefer to live by the Army Values I was taught and have found to be of great benefit in my life.

Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage.

I would expect religious people to follow something somewhat similar but I have been proven wrong by my own personal experience and story.

The mask is real. It is hard to see beyond it.

I know I rambled a bit earlier in this post, but I hope you can take some of this information and open your eyes to the wolves around you. Understand your environment.

I do believe in God, he is all knowing. There is no possibility of life without.

Save yourself from the evils of man.

Look beyond the mask.