THE GIRL THAT GOT AWAY

Apr 26

This person “F” I never did officially date; I was personally too afraid of asking her to be my girlfriend because I felt so intimidated by how much she made me feel. I also thought she was way out of my league.

She was a helicopter mechanic and a straight badass. brown eyes, athletic, and a personality that leads others.

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The first time I saw her she was guarding a person in her unit that had become a danger to themselves and/or others. She was watching this very large male, he looked to be of some sort of asian decent. He spoke with a very interesting cocky accent and would lay down in very odd ways on chairs or the ground and refuse to move for hours.

She looked at me and smiled as we locked eyes, directly after I was pulled aside by one of the staff and they had started to speak to me about how “I need to rest” and that “You’ve done enough for the Army and it was time to go home” and gave me a couple options that I could choose to do for a process to get out.

We would have conversation, but it would be somewhat short. It was not really allowed for us to converse at that time. Eventually we had exchanged numbers.

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I ended up dating other girls and would transition between them or have 3-5 friends that I would “chill” with on a weekly basis. Every once in a while “F” and I would get together and hangout for a coffee or a beer. I even had drinks at her house once. But I slept on the couch. At this point in my life that was absolutely unheard of. Before the drinks we had gotten together to meet up at a coffee shop on Fort Bragg. She showed up absolutely beautiful and with a wonderful low cut dress. We sat and spoke with each other for quite a while. I remember her inviting me over for drinks with friends and made the remark about “wearing that stupid dress”. I didn’t say anything in response. looking back at it now, I feel like I should have. I absolutely loved it, and it was extremely hard not to be noticed wandering. I found myself in a transient state at times during our conversation at the coffee shop, I wanted to pour out what I felt but I was so afraid. I did not want to lose even having the ability to meet up and hangout with such an incredible person that made me feel that way.

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Before the party, she changed out of her dress and into some casual blue jeans. But she would never know I thought she was literally the most beautiful, intelligent, and badass woman I had ever seen.

The last time I saw her we went to a brewery and sat outside and hung out. I forget the name of the place; it was on the outskirts of Fayetteville or in a surrounding town. Even then I wanted to speak, tell her what I thought and felt about her. But I never did.

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I believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t regret any of it. Although I will always remember her at that coffee shop in that wonderful dress, or that first moment when we locked eyes and she smiled.

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